You see what he did there?

“Don’t believe the hype.”

Orlando has been screaming this line since probably 20 minutes after they bumped off Boston in reference to league MVP LeBron James, led by Orlando Sentinel ‘writer’ Mike “My 15 minute egg timer is down to four” Bianchi.

Well I’m here to tell you right now that you shouldn’t believe the hype… about Dwight Howard.

Somehow lost in the Howard lovefest from Charles Barkley and certain Floridian “journalists” is a glaring fact: Dwight Howard is a huge cheap-shot with a reactionary nature that could–at best–be described as wholly childish.

Yeah, I said it.

How many times this series have we seen Howard get fouled this series only to throw an elbow at whoever had wronged him? I can think of at least five, including two last night (against Z and Wally, the latter being considerably more egregious).

It is quickly becoming the 800 pound gorilla in the corner of the room that the media is flat-out refusing to discuss. Does Howard have to actually connect with one of his post-foul ‘bows before the sports media gets upset? People really glossed over it when he rearranged Sam Dalembert’s face in the first round with an accurate elbow flail, and noone is talking about it despite the fact that Howard is averaging at least one maliciously thrown elbow per game this series.

Does the league have to wait until someone else gets a face full of 12’s forearm before they react again? Is the clear and obvious intent somehow not good enough for Stu Jackson and company? This boggles my mind.

It’s a cheap, cheap way to go through the playoffs and noone is calling him out for it. Well I am. The league needs to do something about this and the media needs to start holding their newest darling accountable before he crushes someone’s noggin again.

Either way, though, I get the feeling that karma is gonna find Howard soon enough and throw him a couple bows of its own.

Like many Cleveland fans today, Paul Lassiter's smile belies the fact that he's dying inside

I don’t really know what to say right now. My thoughts aren’t very organized so I suppose I’ll have to just structure them through–surprise–the magic of bullet points to try and get my entire stream of consciousness recorded for all five of you who read this blog to see.

• It’s official: Orlando can no longer claim that they don’t get any calls. Ignoring all of the touch fouls the Cavs were whistled for, and even ignoring the muggings the Magic got away with on defense, when Dwight Howard tackled Delonte West before that ball went out of bounds with six seconds left it should’ve been game over with Delonte on the line. Period. Instead the refs decide to eat the whistle and the rest is history. Brutal.
• I hate this team for making me believe. I really do. After the watershed Cleveland heartbreak year of 2007–OSU football twice, OSU basketball, the Cavs, Browns and Indians all crushing us in a 366 day span–I had promised myself to never get so attached to these teams. Even last year I felt that the Cavs were playing with house money after the Washington series. But this year seemed different; doesn’t seem so different now.
• If the Cavs can’t do the impossible over the next six days, it will mark the fourth time in twelve years that the bandwagoning, know-nothing fans of Florida will be rewarded over the fans of Cleveland. This proves, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the sports gods do not factor in the fans. What is it about Boston and Florida? Jeez.
• Two things are absolutely torching the Cavs’ defense right now: doubling ANYONE and going under screens. Every time the D collapses to double in the paint, SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS. At some point the defense has to admit that it’s better to let Dwight Howard get 39 than to let his teammates hit 17 freaking threes.  Doubling Howard in the paint is bad enough, but when the help comes over against the Turkish Edward James Almos or Rafer freaking Alston–especially Alston, who is borderline petrified of finishing at the rim–nothing good can come of it. I’m ready to say stop double-teaming Orlando, period. As far as going under screens, just watch: every time one of our guards goes under a high screen, it ends in a made three. Both of these things need to flat-out stop happening.
• Talking last night with Amar from Cavalier Attitude, we both agreed that Danny Ferry’s non-move at the trade deadline–passing on Shaq in the name of team chemistry–is looking absolutely putrid today. You don’t think Shaq would be a perfect answer for Howard right now? And for what? JJ Hickson and what’s left of Wally Szczerbiak? At some point you need to have, ugh, the Yankees mentality: do what you need to do to win THIS YEAR and screw everything else.
• I may try and be a bit less scatterbrained and assemble a real recap later, but don’t bet the farm on it.
• One last thing: woe is us.

This is what a wake-up call looks like. All of the Cavs submitted a, “What I did on my 8 day vacation” essay and failed. From top to bottom. LeBron passing up shots in the final minutes, the other starters having absolutely no confidence in their abilities at either end of the floor. And our bench. Oh my sweet goodness our bench.Five points in 41 minutes out of the bench. I’m not going to write it again for emphasis, I could barely write it once. THAT JUST CANNOT HAPPEN.

Now, the Seaward blew up the coaching. I don’t need to do that. Thanks Seaward for not making me punch something. Here’s what we discuss now, the undeniable biggest problem in the series for the Cavs: how in the name of Craig Ehlo are we going to guard Dwight Howard?

John Hollinger wrote a fantastic article yesterday previewing the series. In it, Hollinger suggested that maybe LeBron try his hand at guarding Howard. He pointed out that LeBron couldn’t do it ALL game, at the risk of fouling out. At this point, this might be what has to be done.

Z can’t guard him. Joe Smith is too small. Ben Wallace could’ve guarded him in a past life. LeBron is really the only capable defender the Cavs have for Dwight Howard. The Cavs need to figure out what to do with the man child, because everything else depends on it. Everything. Doubling Howard allows one of their 18 million perimeter shooters to be wide open, and, outside of going to a zone defense, we can’t double team and expect not to get burned on the perimeter.

But, LeBron can’t guard him all game. This is why I will submit this: Darnell Jackson. He’s a big guy, and, more importantly, he has fouls to give. There’s no reason for Mike Brown not to try the DBlock on Howard. NO REASON.  There’s no doubt that whatever results Jackson could produce on the defensively guarding Howard would make up for his lack of offense on the other end. If Z can’t start finding his touch as a shooter, the Magic aren’t going to honor it for too much longer, meaning that Jackson’s lack of range becomes a moot point. This kid has to be hungry–STARVING–for an opportunity to actually contribute to this team.  Put him in for 10 minutes in the second quarter of game two, just to see what he does. Heck, he might even frustrate Howard to the point where he slaps him around, like he did to Sam Dalembert in the Magic’s first series against Philly. Who knows what the DBlock is capable of? That’s the point!

As a Cavs fan, I want to win the Championship. Obviously. But, if we fall short, I want to know that every possible option, every possible angle, every single flag was run up the pole and saluted. Put Jackson in for 10 minutes. Just see.

Besides, maybe he’ll even score 2 points on a putback. Which, if he did in game one, would have accounted for 28% of our bench scoring.

SERIOUSLY, 5 POINTS OUT OF OUR BENCH IN 41 MINUTES?!?!

This picture of Mike Brown is from 2005. Care to guess why I included it?

After I’ve made some previous profanity-laced blog posts on old blog projects coming off enfuriating Cleveland playoff losses, I’ve pledged since the 2007 ALCS to never again write while angry. And I won’t. I am writing this sentence at 11:31 PM EDT, and walking away. I’ll let you know when I come back.

11:51 PM. It’s been 20 minutes and–shock!–the sting hasn’t even begun to wear off. As anyone who knows me will attest, I take losses harder than most other Cleveland fans.

Let’s take that a step farther: I am a terrible loser.

You could say that I am in the 98th percentile for being an absolute piece of crap when one of my teams loses in the playoffs. ‘96 ALDS? Blind rage. ‘97 World Series? Inconsolable. ‘03 Wild Card weekend? Get the hell away from me. ‘07 BCS Title Game? Seething. The aforementioned ‘07 ALCS? Dead to the world for days.

Yet… somehow… this feels worse. Off the charts worse. I am absolutely miserable to be around right now. Let’s talk about it. If we can.I don’t even know where to start. I don’t… I can’t… I just… AUGH. Everything that was right with the world in the first half went bizarro in the second half. The offense was stagnant. The three-point defense disintegrated. Orlando was able to get out on the break. I swear to God, I think I saw the 2006 Cavaliers out there over the last 24 minutes.

Dare I say that Mo Williams’ half court shot was the worst possible thing that could’ve happened heading into halftime? I view it as entirely possible that the dunk by that Polish guy who’s name is absolutely not worth remembering could’ve ignited the Cavs’ defense in the second half, but instead everyone spent recess falling over from slapping eachother on the back after Mo drained the heave. Just throwing it out there.

The Cavs offense in the second half, though, was dreadful; absolutely without redeeming value. Players badly missing wide-open looks, heaving up god-awful jump shots with over 16 seconds left on the shot clock, infinite LeBron/ball-watching. I’ll say it again: it looked like 2006 all over again out there.

And the offense wasn’t the only thing the Cavs had in ‘06 mode Wednesday… Mike Brown was up to his old tricks in Game One, too. I’m sorry, but just because you’ve rested LeBron to start the fourth quarter in every game all year long doesn’t give you the license to do it in THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME OF THE YEAR. Not in a four-point game. Not with the only real obstacle to James’ scoring spree chained to the Orlando bench with four fouls. But he of the Milk Dud noggin did just that anyway, and what results did that rest yield? Why, a 5-0 Orlando run to open the fourth quarter in what turned out to be a one-point loss, thankyouverymuch.

What are you saving him for, Mike? Next year? Because if you pull crap like that again on Friday if it’s close after three, that is precisely what your next concern will be: next year.

Now the other side of that argument was that LeBron was gassed at the end of the game, but I honestly don’t think it comes to that if LeBron is running the offense to start the fourth instead of… whatever you want to call that disaster of a lineup Brown sent out there to open the fourth. If the Cavs had staved off that third-into-the-fourth quarter charge by Orlando and kept the lead I think Cleveland cruises through the fourth. I really do.

So instead of what looked like a laughably easy Game One win, we as Cavs fans have to take an honest look in the mirror and wonder: where do we go from here?

Personally, I don’t know. Tonight’s game was an absolute worst-case scenario, in my mind. I am hitting the freaking panic button with a sledgehammer. A game that the Cavs had complete control of slipped away at home and the single most important thing the Cavs had earned in the regular season–home court advantage–evaporated over the course of 24 mortifyingly bad minutes of basketball.

Where do we go from here? I can’t say, but the Cavaliers now have 44 hours to figure it out or this dream season will turn into yet another chapter of Cleveland playoff heartbreak.

I don’t know if I can take this anymore.

"Well, it's ****in' Monday afternoon! You should get out of bed earlier!"

It was a busy weekend in Cleveland and I spent almost all of it out of town and away from a computer, so let’s take just about my favorite thing in the history of blogs–BULLET POINTS!–and wheel our way around the weekend that was along America’s North Coast.

• Ohh… the Indians. People often look for turning points in seasons when a team figures it out and goes from mediocre to contending. Friday’s game was pretty much the opposite of that, I’m willing to wager; an anti-turning point, if you will, that took a team that was starting to get it together and kicked it right in the mommy & daddy button. The bullpen is not getting better and there is seemingly no end in sight.
• When I was still at (the infamous) SportsTalkCleveland.com, I had a lengthy discussion with Bruce Drennan on how Major League Baseball umpires were, of the big four sports, the best in-game officials. I am officially ready to retract that opinion after watching the men in blue absolutely butcher calls with and without the aid of instant replay. The call on Garko’s would-be double yesterday was an absolute farce. And don’t even get me started on Troy “Jim Thome’s Bitch” Percival not getting tossed in the ninth. Here’s my 2009 order of competence among major professional in-game officials, from best to worst: NHL > NFL > MLB > NBA — that’s right, MLB umpires are now behind the crew that once upon a time botched a coin toss. Think about that.
• About that almost-double by Ryan Garko. Here’s my reason why I think Wedge was ultimately not thrown out of that game: the umpires said to him, “Um, even if that was a double, your next batter is David Dellucci. Do you REALLY think that runner will get to the plate with rally kryptonite on deck? The point is moot, sir.”
• Eric Wedge should have been immediately fired, with prejudice, when Kerry Wood didn’t put a fastball in Carl Crawford’s earhole Sunday. While I will admit that it may have been nearly as good to watch Crawford stand on the back edge of the batter’s box and submit one of the most cowardly strikeouts in league history, it should’ve never gotten to that point. Wood should’ve dotted Crawford before he even stepped onto the back line of the box. Say what you want about Jagmaster General Ozzie Guillen but, if he was managing the Indians, Wood would’ve either drilled Crawford or been handed a bus ticket to Columbus. Period.
• The Cavs have an actual opponent for the Eastern Conference Finals! That’s super! Obviously the Cavs matched up poorly a couple times against Orlando during the regular season, but the rest of the extra week off will ultimately be the difference. Plus, you know, that whole “the regular season means absolutely nothing” stuff. I just wish Game One was tomorrow instead of Wednesday.
• I know many Cavs fans who were screaming “We want Boston!” all through the conference semis, but I’m telling you right now that I got exactly what I wanted from the other series: seven games. Sure, Orlando didn’t exactly have to press too hard to win Game Seven, but they’ve now played five more playoff games than the Cavs in the same time span; arguably a whole extra series. That will matter if this series is extended.
• I wish Channel 3 had set up a way to view the Red Wings-Blackhawks game yesterday afternoon somehow, some way. Not only was I getting increasingly frustrated with the Indians during the middle portions of yesterday’s game, but because of how the system works, there is no channel on the NHL Center Ice package for a conf. finals game when it’s being aired nationally by NBC, even if your particular market is airing another event in its stead. Fairly frustrating, and I’m not even a Wings or Hawks fan. I imagine my uncle in Brecksville, who is a die-hard Wings fanatic, was losing his freaking mind waiting to be able to view Game One.
• Seriously… how lame did Crawford look during his at bat in the 8th? He couldn’t have been any deeper in the far corner of the batter’s box when he watched the first two strikes sail by and that wimpy little defensive swing for strike three was downright comical. I can’t get over how unimaginably weak Crawford came off in that AB despite being one of the main instigators (along with Joe Maddon) of that phantom fracas.

At least now we can start getting amped up again about the Cavs, since the Indians did not exactly provide a pleasant diversion this past weekend. Look for lots of Cavs stuff this week, including my attempt to get some Orlando hatred built up. We’ll see how it goes.

Thanks.

Dirk, you and Cleveland rarely cross paths. Twice a year we see you, and I’m sure the way things work, you have done wrong by us in one way or another at some point. But today on the Lake known as Erie, you are our hero. Thanks for extending your series with the Nuggets. We like being the only team waiting.I cannot emphasize how great it feels as a Cavs fan to know that no matter what happens in the next week of basketball, Cleveland is safe. No other team left can say that. Denver will have to put up with the second guessing internally and externally after the two point loss to the Mavs. Everyone else left is deadlocked in series that show no signs of stopping anytime soon. What are the Cavs doing?

Well, I would like to think they are still practicing, they are still challenging each other in suicide drills at the end of practice. But, for all I know, they could be waking up at 2 in the afternoon after a long night of making it rain. I don’t THINK that’s what they are doing, but after two consecutive sweeps, nobody is in a position to question the Cavaliers’ dedication.

Is anyone else not exactly used to this?

The most telling sign that this team is dialed in? Nope, not the close to 56% shooting from three point range. It’s Anderson Varejao’s 7 offensive rebounds. It’s the idea that on each position, we WILL score. Down the stretch LeBron was going right to the hole, and missed a few shots that he normally hits to win games. A few years ago, he needed to hit those shots for us to win. LeBron was going to the hole, and everyone else was watching. That just isn’t the case anymore. Andy is crashing the offensive glass, Delonte and Mo are taking turns being that second high scorer, and Z chips in a double-double.

Critics talk about the Cavs’ sideline antics and LeBron’s “percieved” pass-first mentailty as if Cleveland has hired the greatest publicist to walk the earth. Those critics are only interested in being critical. King James dropped 47 on the Hawks in game three, not just because he wanted to, but because his teammates wanted him to as well. They knew what the constant boos did to him, they knew he wanted to get after it, and they were there to help. It has left us 8 wins shy of that championship.

And I’ll add this: if Cleveland doesn’t win the NBA title, the series in which they lose WILL. BE. EPIC.

But for now, we will wait. And we will be the only ones who wait for now. Thank you, Dirk.

We all saw it last night, Glen Davis hit a shot that if he could have pulled off in college, LSU would have been back to back champs instead of Florida. Everyone loved the way the Celtics and Big Baby celebrated. Hard to believe this team won a championship EVER,  let alone THE LAST ONE after the way they reacted to a game four Eastern Conference Semifinal victory. But, did we see everything? Yes, we all saw Davis shove the kid… but look a little closer, around the 1:15 mark.

Yes. We are watching. That Cavs fan in the LeBron jersey is celebrating not becuase the shot was so epic, but because now that series will go at least 6 games!

If you haven’t seen it, here’s Nike’s new commercial featuring LeBron and Kobe… /Henson’d. Not exactly sure if this commercial is making fun of the King, or displaying the exuberance Kobe once had for the game. You decide:

Mike. Michael. Mikeeeey. Listen.

 Dear Mike Woodson,

Well, here we are. You are in round two of the NBA Playoffs, after your first winning season in God Knows How Long. You put Dwayne Wade and his Heat away in round one. Your fans seem to have a pulse, even if it’s one that is incredibly misinformed on how to handle opposing star players in their prime in the playoffs. Mike, nobody ever thought you would make it this long in Atlanta, not even you. It is time, for the sake of your franchise, to just give up in Game 4 Monday. It makes a lot of sense.

I’m not exactly sure who told you that losing in the second round to the most dominant team (to this point) in the NBA playoffs was some sort of disgraceful way to end your season, but it isn’t. Trust us, it happened to us last year, and we’re doing just fine now.

You have NO CHANCE of winning this series, I’m pretty sure you’re aware of that. You thought maybe in game three that you could sneak one by LeBron and make this a series again, and you didn’t. You have nothing to gain from a win tomorrow night, and everything to lose. Consider this: three of your best players, by your own’s coach admission, would not be playing right now if you guys weren’t in the playoffs. Al Horford, Joe Johnson, and Marvin Williams are the foundation for your future, one that is looking brighter. If you play your cards right.

There aren’t too many teams in the NBA that can say with a pretty high degree of certainty that they had home court advantage in the first round of the NBA Playoffs in the 2008-09 season, and undeniably have a chance to better their seeding next season. In fact, I’m pretty sure you’re the only team in this years playoffs that can say that. The status of Kevin Garnett is completely unknown, and even if he is back with the Celtics, Boston is a team that seems to be on a decline. This could mean a 3 seed for you next year, possibly even a 2 seed if Stan Van Gundy is as bad as Shaq says he is.

Here’s you worst case scenario: all of the hurt guys play, they all get carted off, you guys begin a slow decline. Back to the depths where you came from before your team can realize it’s full potential. Oh, and you guys lose game four anyway.

Middle case scenario: YOU GUYS WIN GAME 4! Horford makes his injury worse, and now the second best low-post player in the East is never the same. Oh, and you lose game 5 by 30.

Best Case Scenario: You guys lose game 4, all your big guns sit. Your players are happy at the end of the year because they do not have to cancel their tickets for a flight that leaves for Cancun on Tuesday.  Trust me, it makes sense.

Besides, wouldn’t you rather lose to us in the Eastern Conference Finals next year?

Regards,

Cleveland

Stop me if you’ve heard this before: Atlanta fans are just terrible. I realize that this concept pre-dates my high school career (See: Justice, David circa 1995) but from time to time, there needs to be a sort of reminder, or reboot. I’m sure Celtics fans were all over this notion last year when Mike Bibby called them “fair-weather” during the Hawks’ seven-game first-round epic with the C’s in ‘08 (prompting one Atlanta blogger to remind Bibby that Hawks fans were best described as “no-weather”) and now it’s our turn.

Let’s take a look at some of the silliest things we saw last night in the ATL…

Ludicrous (Ludacris?) PA Prompting

Table and I were incredulous watching last night and hearing Philips Arena Public Address Man Ryan Cameron and some of the prompts he was giving the fans in the arena.

Before I elaborate, I want to remind you that three of the last four playoff years we’ve lived through the absolutely insufferable Mason in Detroit, so you really have to be absurd to catch our attention as a PA guy.

Anyway, I was particularly struck when the Hawks made their big charge to start the second quarter and Flip Murray canned his second free-throw to make it 25-24, this is the precise sequence of events:

• Murray FT makes it 25-24
• Cameron: “HAWKS LEAD!”
• Crowd: *cheers*

Really, Atlanta? Really? You need your PA guy to tell you that you’re ahead to react? I know we here in Cleveland take it a bit for “The Diff” on the scoreboard at the Q (see below), and Boston fans get it all the time for being horribly, horribly obnoxious, but could you find another NBA market where the concept would even be necessary for the fans to be incited via public address following a lead change? Anywhere? Of course not.

I wondered out loud to Table at this point if Cameron would need to point out if/when the Hawks crossed the 80-point barrier in Game Three. Turned out to be a moot point courtesy of the mass exodus at Philips with 3+ minutes left in the fourth.

Booing LeBron

So let me get this straight, Atlanta… your chosen method of trying to rattle the runaway league MVP is to boo him every time he touches the ball. I just want to make sure we’re on the same page, here.

This may have been a good idea for the first, maybe, five minutes of the game. Once LeBron–serenaded by the chorus of boos–took a foul on the floor from Mo Evans with no prayer of continuation and still took the ball to the hoop, threw down a thunderous one-hander and glared at the crowd just 5:40 into the first… maybe you should have reconsidered.

Because as has been proven time and time again, YOU DO NOT WANT TO PISS OFF LEBRON JAMES. Don’t believe me? Ask Chris Bosh’s girlfriend. Ask Spike Lee. (But please don’t tell Jack Nicholson)

And yet the boos persisted. I’m fairly positive I heard a nat-sound mic pick up LeBron say “They done pissed me off,” coming out of a TV timeout in the third quarter. And so… 47-12-8 happened.

On second thought, keep booing; inspire LeBron to wrap this up while I glare angrily at Carl Willis at tomorrow’s Indians game.

Pick Your Battles

So you were unhappy about the officiating last night? Really? WELCOME TO THE NBA; all Association referees are flat-out abysmal. Get used to it.

But if you choose to voice your displeasure over bad calls… make sure they’re bad calls, first. The foul that precipitated Lady Zaza getting the ol’ heave-ho was an obvious blocking foul (hello, protected area!) and even the T’s that ensued were borderline automatic technicals with the way Lady Zaza was carrying on and growling at the refs. The only real crime committed was Mike Tirico not commenting how we couldn’t see Lady Zaza’s poker face for the rest of the night. Le sigh.

Look… we get it, the Cavs get a lot of calls. It’s become such an annoying theme that ESPN contracted one of its TrueHoop bloggers to write a 100% pointless story on Bron-Bron’s so-called “star calls.”

That said, the calls to which the crowd reacted the most strongly were straightfoward calls. The blocking foul on Al Horford early in the fourth? The one that the crowd so virulently reacted to? His feet weren’t even close to set, nearly 19 feet from the hoop; easiest call ever!

If you want to boo uncalled hand-checks or overly physical defense by LeBron or Delonte West… be my guest! I encourage ALL NBA fans to boo bad refereeing; it’s become an epidemic in the league. It really has.

But you’re really discrediting yourselves by booing these black-and-white calls like this.

I don’t really know what I’m expecting out of Atlanta fans, though. At no point in the history of time have sports fans in the ATL ever shown the propensity for being passionate, knowledgeable or even interested.

I think the most I can hope for is self-respect… but then again, it’s not like the team on the floor at Philips is exactly leading by example in that department.

They’ll have a few months to work on all of this after Monday.

Yeah… it’s been a little while since we’ve done any writing here. Both JTBI and I have been way busy with work lately, with on-location remotes on a near-daily basis for myself and JTBI getting ready to take a new job and move back to the Buckeye state (lucky).

Hence, the lack of posts. Just call it an early summer vacation.

Soon we’ll be back up to full capacity, especially once JTBI has internet in his apartment (unlike his apt. in Michigan, which was 100% internet-free) and once the 4th of July weekend is over for me.

As a quick sports thought, how frustrating was it to watch the Celtics win last night, knowing that if Boston had played against the Cavaliers the way that they played against the Lakers that the Cavs would’ve beaten them in 5? I must say I was very disappointed in the Lakers, who apparently thought all they had to do was show up to win the NBA title.

I am especially disappointed in Phil Jackson, who officially became the first head coach in NBA playoff history to be outcoached by Doc Rivers. DOC RIVERS! I wouldn’t trust that guy to coach a rec league team, and he’s outfoxing the Guru?

I’ll be watching I-64 for the Four Horsemen for the rest of the week, if you don’t mind.