The Maestro?!

When I was a kid, from time to time, I would ask my mother for a cookie. If her initial response was no, I would whine, and tell her why I deserved a cookie. If that didn’t work, I would seek out another adult to give me the cookie I felt I so richly deserved. Never at any point would I draft a letter saying, “cookie distribution is one-sided in favor of the adults.”

Today, Josh Cribbs drafted a letter (!) to supposedly inform fans that he REALLY REALLY REALLY wants a new contract. Cribbs is getting some pretty terrible advice.

Here’s how holdouts work Josh. You either hold out, or you don’t. You don’t draft letters. I know you have a family to feed, I know that you think your performance deserves more money than you are currently being paid, I get it that you want a new deal.

I GATHERED ALL OF THAT WHEN I HEARD YOU WERE HOLDING OUT.

This letter reeks of desperation. This letter is straight out of the playbook of a high school girl who gets dumped a week before prom. Cribbs, I agree that you deserve some more scratch, I think you’re a great player, single-handedly responsible for several wins over the years. The one thing (I think) this letter tells me is that you really didn’t WANT to hold out, but the people around you told you that you should. That’s fine. Go get your coin, son. Leave the letter in the drawer.

Look, nobody likes holdouts, and I’m no different. I particularly don’t like players holding out that I really want back on the team. But 10 times out of 10, I’ll take a holdout over a guy who may or may not call Browns Headquarters at 2 AM after having too much to drink, only to hang up after the second ring.

This is what a wake-up call looks like. All of the Cavs submitted a, “What I did on my 8 day vacation” essay and failed. From top to bottom. LeBron passing up shots in the final minutes, the other starters having absolutely no confidence in their abilities at either end of the floor. And our bench. Oh my sweet goodness our bench.Five points in 41 minutes out of the bench. I’m not going to write it again for emphasis, I could barely write it once. THAT JUST CANNOT HAPPEN.

Now, the Seaward blew up the coaching. I don’t need to do that. Thanks Seaward for not making me punch something. Here’s what we discuss now, the undeniable biggest problem in the series for the Cavs: how in the name of Craig Ehlo are we going to guard Dwight Howard?

John Hollinger wrote a fantastic article yesterday previewing the series. In it, Hollinger suggested that maybe LeBron try his hand at guarding Howard. He pointed out that LeBron couldn’t do it ALL game, at the risk of fouling out. At this point, this might be what has to be done.

Z can’t guard him. Joe Smith is too small. Ben Wallace could’ve guarded him in a past life. LeBron is really the only capable defender the Cavs have for Dwight Howard. The Cavs need to figure out what to do with the man child, because everything else depends on it. Everything. Doubling Howard allows one of their 18 million perimeter shooters to be wide open, and, outside of going to a zone defense, we can’t double team and expect not to get burned on the perimeter.

But, LeBron can’t guard him all game. This is why I will submit this: Darnell Jackson. He’s a big guy, and, more importantly, he has fouls to give. There’s no reason for Mike Brown not to try the DBlock on Howard. NO REASON.  There’s no doubt that whatever results Jackson could produce on the defensively guarding Howard would make up for his lack of offense on the other end. If Z can’t start finding his touch as a shooter, the Magic aren’t going to honor it for too much longer, meaning that Jackson’s lack of range becomes a moot point. This kid has to be hungry–STARVING–for an opportunity to actually contribute to this team.  Put him in for 10 minutes in the second quarter of game two, just to see what he does. Heck, he might even frustrate Howard to the point where he slaps him around, like he did to Sam Dalembert in the Magic’s first series against Philly. Who knows what the DBlock is capable of? That’s the point!

As a Cavs fan, I want to win the Championship. Obviously. But, if we fall short, I want to know that every possible option, every possible angle, every single flag was run up the pole and saluted. Put Jackson in for 10 minutes. Just see.

Besides, maybe he’ll even score 2 points on a putback. Which, if he did in game one, would have accounted for 28% of our bench scoring.

SERIOUSLY, 5 POINTS OUT OF OUR BENCH IN 41 MINUTES?!?!

Ugh. Thanks to Cleveland.com, we’ve learned that our constant mind-games with Jeremy Sowers will continue. I feel bad for the young man, because he was set up to fail. He’s now heading to Columbus, and we’re bringing someone that has been bouncing around the majors for the past ten years. Not that other players haven’t had success doing what Luis Vizcaino has done, but the Indians should be cautious in the way they are treating some of their young arms. On one hand, we have Adam Miller. Miller has had so many injuries that one of my friends is convinced he doesn’t really exist. I’m not saying that Miller doesn’t deserved to be coddled because of his seemingly endless string of injuries, but on the other side of the coin are guys like Sowers and Aaron Laffey.

These two guys have done EVERYTHING we have asked of them. Laffey will probably now come BACK to the starting rotation to make room for the new carpetbagger in the bullpen. Not to go all JT Walsh’s character in Blue Chips on you here, but we owe both Sowers and Laffey some consistency. Sure, you can say it’s their lack of consistency that makes the situation so unstable. Now we are in a classic chicken-or-the-egg situation. One that the Indians should want to desperately avoid.

Last I checked, we aren’t really contending at the moment. We need to figure out what we have in Jeremy Sowers and Aaron Laffey. We need to define roles for them, and then see if they can succeed or fail… once and for all. For all of Cliff Lee’s issues a few season ago, he was never a reliever. I’m sure that even in his greatest moment of self-doubt, he said to himself, “The Cleveland Indians are counting on me to be a starter, I need to get my act together for this club, or to show someone else what I’m capable of doing as a starter.”

What is Sowers saying to himself right now on his way to Columbus? I don’t think anyone really has any idea. Both of these guys have enough of a body of work that if the Indians didnt like them, they would be gone by now (see: Tallet, Brian and Guthrie, Jeremy). It boggles my mind that the Indians organization has a soft spot for two guys, yet constantly change their roles, stunting their growth. Find a spot for them, and leave them alone. Then evaluate. It’s all I ask.

Just letting all of you Ohio sports fans that Washington Capitals Center Dave Steckel is someone you should be loving right now. He’s got everything you could ever want in an athlete: he attended The Ohio State University, and he is giving the city of Pittsburgh fits. I think we can all agree any misery brought that that horrific city is something we can all get behind.

Steckel scored the game winner in overtime last night, and also was the only player other than Sydney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin to score in game 2 of the series, where the Caps won by a goal. Thatta way, Steckel! Could we trouble you for an O-H! after your game winner in Game 7?

Thanks.

Dirk, you and Cleveland rarely cross paths. Twice a year we see you, and I’m sure the way things work, you have done wrong by us in one way or another at some point. But today on the Lake known as Erie, you are our hero. Thanks for extending your series with the Nuggets. We like being the only team waiting.I cannot emphasize how great it feels as a Cavs fan to know that no matter what happens in the next week of basketball, Cleveland is safe. No other team left can say that. Denver will have to put up with the second guessing internally and externally after the two point loss to the Mavs. Everyone else left is deadlocked in series that show no signs of stopping anytime soon. What are the Cavs doing?

Well, I would like to think they are still practicing, they are still challenging each other in suicide drills at the end of practice. But, for all I know, they could be waking up at 2 in the afternoon after a long night of making it rain. I don’t THINK that’s what they are doing, but after two consecutive sweeps, nobody is in a position to question the Cavaliers’ dedication.

Is anyone else not exactly used to this?

The most telling sign that this team is dialed in? Nope, not the close to 56% shooting from three point range. It’s Anderson Varejao’s 7 offensive rebounds. It’s the idea that on each position, we WILL score. Down the stretch LeBron was going right to the hole, and missed a few shots that he normally hits to win games. A few years ago, he needed to hit those shots for us to win. LeBron was going to the hole, and everyone else was watching. That just isn’t the case anymore. Andy is crashing the offensive glass, Delonte and Mo are taking turns being that second high scorer, and Z chips in a double-double.

Critics talk about the Cavs’ sideline antics and LeBron’s “percieved” pass-first mentailty as if Cleveland has hired the greatest publicist to walk the earth. Those critics are only interested in being critical. King James dropped 47 on the Hawks in game three, not just because he wanted to, but because his teammates wanted him to as well. They knew what the constant boos did to him, they knew he wanted to get after it, and they were there to help. It has left us 8 wins shy of that championship.

And I’ll add this: if Cleveland doesn’t win the NBA title, the series in which they lose WILL. BE. EPIC.

But for now, we will wait. And we will be the only ones who wait for now. Thank you, Dirk.

Glad We Could Help

Anyone catch the latest edition of Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback? Didn’t think so. I saw this on Profootballtalk.com like the rest of you did.

Ok, let’s talk about it. Obviously PK did this for some sort of effect. I’m just spit balling here, but if King puts the Lions last, the majority of people reading will look at the column and say, “oh wow, Peter King has the last three teams to win Super Bowls in his top 3, and the Lions as the worst team. Now I remember why I stopped reading him a few years ago.”

I understand that the Browns are bad, but King really is just picking on us. There’s no way– NO WAY– taking everything into consideration that you can say that the Lions are a better team than the Browns at his point. King points to holes in our lineup? The LIONS don’t have holes? The problem is that the Lions have a brand new quarterback and young talent at the skill positions, so it’s kind of like a good looking girl who you would never want to see without make-up plastered all over her face.

The Browns had a solid offensive line going into the offseason, at which point we signed John St. Clair and Floyd Womack, then went and drafted Alex Mack. We have options on the offensive line. The Lions do not. I think Calvin Johnson is a talented kid, but if there was a Madden fantasy draft where all players were up for grabs, Joe Thomas would be taken off the board ROUNDS before Calvin Johnson.

The other sticking point for King is that our division is too tough. Yeah, based on last year it is, but are you saying the Lions could do better in our division than we could? Do you think the Browns would mind playing 6 games against the NFC North every year?

That’s like saying that Aston Kutcher is a better actor than Robert Duvall based solely on the idea that it was hard for Duvall to carve out a place for himself in The Godfather. Duvall was overshadowed by much better actors in a fantastic film, Kutcher has consistently turned in atrocious performances in atrocious movies! Would Kutcher have done a better job as Tom Hagen? The answer is absolutely not.

Yes, I went there. But it makes sense. The Lions have been God-awful in a pretty terrible division… FOREVER.

But I get it. Even a guy like Peter King has to make an effort to stay relevant in the current sports media landscape. A way to do that is to go off the script from time to time.  Can the Lions finish with a better record than the Browns this year? Sure they could. But King does not get a free pass, at least from me, for saying that now.

Also, as I’m sure you all remember, Peter King last year had us in the top 10 at this point.

We all saw it last night, Glen Davis hit a shot that if he could have pulled off in college, LSU would have been back to back champs instead of Florida. Everyone loved the way the Celtics and Big Baby celebrated. Hard to believe this team won a championship EVER,  let alone THE LAST ONE after the way they reacted to a game four Eastern Conference Semifinal victory. But, did we see everything? Yes, we all saw Davis shove the kid… but look a little closer, around the 1:15 mark.

Yes. We are watching. That Cavs fan in the LeBron jersey is celebrating not becuase the shot was so epic, but because now that series will go at least 6 games!

If you haven’t seen it, here’s Nike’s new commercial featuring LeBron and Kobe… /Henson’d. Not exactly sure if this commercial is making fun of the King, or displaying the exuberance Kobe once had for the game. You decide:

Mike. Michael. Mikeeeey. Listen.

 Dear Mike Woodson,

Well, here we are. You are in round two of the NBA Playoffs, after your first winning season in God Knows How Long. You put Dwayne Wade and his Heat away in round one. Your fans seem to have a pulse, even if it’s one that is incredibly misinformed on how to handle opposing star players in their prime in the playoffs. Mike, nobody ever thought you would make it this long in Atlanta, not even you. It is time, for the sake of your franchise, to just give up in Game 4 Monday. It makes a lot of sense.

I’m not exactly sure who told you that losing in the second round to the most dominant team (to this point) in the NBA playoffs was some sort of disgraceful way to end your season, but it isn’t. Trust us, it happened to us last year, and we’re doing just fine now.

You have NO CHANCE of winning this series, I’m pretty sure you’re aware of that. You thought maybe in game three that you could sneak one by LeBron and make this a series again, and you didn’t. You have nothing to gain from a win tomorrow night, and everything to lose. Consider this: three of your best players, by your own’s coach admission, would not be playing right now if you guys weren’t in the playoffs. Al Horford, Joe Johnson, and Marvin Williams are the foundation for your future, one that is looking brighter. If you play your cards right.

There aren’t too many teams in the NBA that can say with a pretty high degree of certainty that they had home court advantage in the first round of the NBA Playoffs in the 2008-09 season, and undeniably have a chance to better their seeding next season. In fact, I’m pretty sure you’re the only team in this years playoffs that can say that. The status of Kevin Garnett is completely unknown, and even if he is back with the Celtics, Boston is a team that seems to be on a decline. This could mean a 3 seed for you next year, possibly even a 2 seed if Stan Van Gundy is as bad as Shaq says he is.

Here’s you worst case scenario: all of the hurt guys play, they all get carted off, you guys begin a slow decline. Back to the depths where you came from before your team can realize it’s full potential. Oh, and you guys lose game four anyway.

Middle case scenario: YOU GUYS WIN GAME 4! Horford makes his injury worse, and now the second best low-post player in the East is never the same. Oh, and you lose game 5 by 30.

Best Case Scenario: You guys lose game 4, all your big guns sit. Your players are happy at the end of the year because they do not have to cancel their tickets for a flight that leaves for Cancun on Tuesday.  Trust me, it makes sense.

Besides, wouldn’t you rather lose to us in the Eastern Conference Finals next year?

Regards,

Cleveland

The Browns most likely are not done at the cornerback position. After the signing of Terry Cousins, most Clevelanders thought that we would get another Terry Cousins-like name to bolster our numbers. Turns out that could be very true, because it seems as if Mr. Savage has eyes for Denver’s Domonique Foxworth:

Foxworth could be more available than most starting-quality corners because he is not a penciled-in starter in Denver. Foxworth has played extensively at both cornerback and safety in his three NFL seasons.

Because he is a nickel cornerback and is entering the final year of his contract, the Broncos’ asking price might be reasonable to the Browns.

I’m not so sure this is the answer for the Browns at corner, but if we are getting into bargains, this could be the next move. According to his page at pro-football-reference.com, Foxworth hasn’t played corner since 2005, but he is young enough that he could be an impact player for years to come. Plus, he’s British. That’s gotta be worth something, if for no other reason than it would freank Santonio Holmes out.

There are numerous acconts of players that have left the Indians and become great successes. Recently, some of these names have popped up in sort of a, “wow I wish we still had them because nobody can hit” kind of way. Kevin Kouzmanoff had his first multi-homer game this weekend, Brandon Phillips is raking for the Reds, as is Ryan Ludwick for the Cardinals. One player that’s still terrible? Russell Branyan. I still don’t understand why this cat has a job to be honest with you. Check out his line this afternoon for the Milwaukee Brewers:

0-5, 4 K, 4 LOB

Impressive stuff. This is not a blog where we make a habit of just crushing people, but I just can’t resist ol’ Russ here. The pot is really calling the kettle black considering that this line wouldn’t keep him out of an Indians lineup. But I mean, four strikeouts? Against the Washington Nationals? Jeez-oh-petes, Russ.