Bill Simmons Analogies: Boston Fans

Look, everybody knows that one of the godfathers of sports blogging, whether he wants to admit it or not, is ESPN’s Bill Simmons. One of the most amusing parts of Simmons’ columns is how he often finds the “real life equivalent” to various sports and pop culture phenomena, and if I tried to pass off this column as anything but a direct import of that concept, it would be idea plagiarism. So let’s just call it an homage. Thanks, Bill.

While I was watching game five on Wednesday night, I randomly blurted out, “God, I hate the F-ing Celtics.” My roommate asked me why I hated the Celtics so much, knowing full well that not five years ago I (being a good descendant of the Emerald Isle) owned a piece or two of Celtics gear (sweatband and baseball cap). He also knew that I had twice made the C’s my franchise on NBA video games (NBA 2k2 and NBA Live ‘03; the Cavs’ jerseys were just too ugly back at that time to consider using them). What, he was curious, could make my opinion swing so violently against a team I had once considered to be one of the two NBA teams I liked outside of Cleveland)?

It took me maybe a second–but likely closer to .0000001 seconds–to answer: Boston fans.

Opportunity knocks, Cavs not home; out buying 23 cent pizzas

Yet another critical road game for the Cavs slipped away at the Garden last night and now they face the unenviable task of climbing out of a 3-2 hole with a possible Game 7 looming in Boston.

I don’t have a lot to say now that I didn’t say last night while chiming in on WFNY’s live blog of the proceedings, but I will say that Lebron’s big first half was both a blessing and a curse: a blessing because he proved to everyone–especially himself–that he can drive and dominate against this allegedly great defense, even on the road; a curse because it caused the other 11 guys in wine to put their hands on their hips and watch him go. While it didn’t help that Lebron basically refused to pass in the 4th quarter, his teammates really did not give him any reason to want to pass in the second and third quarters.

THAT’S What I’m Talkin’ Bout.

There we go. That’s the Cavs game I was looking to see.

Never you mind Saturday’s run-away-and-hide win at home; games like that rarely tell the tale when it comes to success (or lack thereof) in the postseason. Last night’s grind-it-out kind of win is exactly what the doctor ordered for the Cavaliers. Boston hung with the Cavs all night long, really testing the mettle of the defending conference champs — especially in the hectic, see-saw battle that was the 3rd quarter. To Cleveland’s credit they not only survived the their usual problem quarter but actually came out ahead on points (23-22!).

Three Questions — Tony Castricone from 1460 The Fan in Columbus

Three Questions is a new feature that we are going to try and run every week or two where we conduct an e-mail interview with a member of the mainstream sports media that covers one or all of the teams we love. The first edition of Three Questions features Tony Castricone, Ohio State football and basketball beat reporter and radio pregame show host on 1460 The Fan (WBNS-AM) in Columbus.

Sons of Nev: Tony, thanks for taking the time to talk with us here today.

ESPN features about Jim Tressel using Barack Obama-isms aside, the biggest story in Buckeye-land this spring has been the late commitment of QB Terrelle Pryor. What role, if any, do you think Pryor will play on the OSU offense this year? How much did missing spring practices hurt him?

Tony Castricone: Pryor is too talented not to play at least a little bit for the Buckeyes, but Tressel is too loyal to his upperclassmen to take the reins away from senior quarterback Todd Boeckman without reason. Expect Ohio State to ease Pryor into the complex world of college quarterbacking by creating a simple package of plays for him. Think Tim Tebow in 2006. Certain down and distance situations should lend to Pryor’s talents more than Boeckman’s. It’ll give Pryor a little experience, yet keep his confidence up by protecting him from being in over his head. Even though several freshman made it to spring workouts, there’s no way you can say missing spring hurts a freshman, since they’re never supposed to be there in the first place. It’s hard to tell how much he would have gotten out of spring ball anyway, since the coaches took a different approach this spring with a veteran-laden team.

He’s out with a WHAT?

I’m not trying to make light of spring allergies and an inner ear infection, but you have to be kiddling me Ben Wallace. Can’t you just pop a Claritin and call it a day? This makes me so mad, you have done nothing so far in this series, and now you’re out with springtime allergies? YOU PLAY INDOORS!

Whatever, he’s out, but I am expecting the rest of the Cavaliers to come and play tonight. It starts with LeBron, and it’s going to take the entire team behind him to get a victory. Remember folks, Boston still does not have a road win in these playoffs, and a little home cooking could be just what the Cavs need to get right back into the series.

That right there.

Cleveland 6, Toronto 1. Box score

To borrow a line from everyone’s mother and father: “now, what was so hard about that?” Those are my thoughts exactly after the win tonight over Toronto. The Tribe making things look absolutely effortless in the 6-1 win, and it just felt so good. The pitching was on the mark, the bats were alive, and this team, at least for a night, looking like it is ready to get serious in 2008. In a battle of former Cy Young winners, both teams were held hitless until the fourth inning, and it looked like we were going to see one of those classic pitching duels. Halladay and Sabathia were both poised to get the win for thier team, but only one did. CC made the Wahoo Warriors proud, and the offense played the role of gathering storm flawlessly. More on the Tribe’s 17th win of the season, after the jump.

Where did this come from?

I was shocked today to see Flip Bondy of the NY Daily News write such a short, disjointed, trivial attack on our Cleveland Indians:

Good riddance to the Cleveland Indians, who can take their racist, cartoon caps and go home now. I can’t imagine working for an organization that requires such disgraceful garb.

Bondy had some other surface arguments about David Dellucci calling out Joba Chamberlain for being too boisterous on the mound. I agree with Bondy in that respect, Dellucci should just resign himself to the fact that Yankee players will rejoice over anything that they do, because that’s just what kind of team they are. But to bring up the issue of race after the Indians took two out of three from your team is just a bit well…interesting if you ask me. If the Yankees would have swept the Tribe, would there be such outrage? Moreover, should I as a Cleveland Indians fan disown my team because of a decision they made to HONOR one of their greatest players, because people in today’s society claim it to be offensive without first considering the history behind it? And it’s not like the Yankees really have a leg to stand on when it comes to being a champion against racism.

Defending the Turn-off

	Being able to look at Jenna Fischer made the decision to turn off the Cavs oh-so easy.

So I’ve caught a little bit of flack–mostly from JTBI–for publicizing my turning off of the Cavaliers’ dreadful effort in their 89-73* loss last night. I feel compelled this morning to defend not only my turning off of the game but my decision to make it publicly known. (* - I only know the final score because I get a text message at the end of every Cavs game with the final)

The main criticism of turning off any game, much less a playoff game, during a blowout is that you’re not a true believer in your team. I can see this argument, as I vividly remember eviscerating my dad back in 2001 when he and my grandfather left The Jake early on the night of The Greatest Comeback Ever, having never myself turned off the Sunday Night Baseball broadcast. I remember imploring him, “How could you leave? How could you miss the best comeback ever? How?” In my grand finale I think I called him a bad fan 3 or 4 times and stormed off. Certainly, from experience, I can see how it can be unbecoming of a fan to just give up on his or her team… but come on.

I’m turning this crap off.

I’ve had enough; I’m turning this game off right now. It’s 9:00, The Office is on, and I can’t think of a good reason to keep watching this horsecrap effort on the part of the Cavaliers.

I blame Mike Brown for all of this. I really do. His personnel decisions tonight have been somewhere south of baffling. Anderson Varejao has been a complete albatross on both ends of the floor, and yet Brown has seen fit to leave him out on the floor for endless periods of time. I told JTBI at the Cavs timeout at 8:45 pm that if Varejao was on the floor after the commercials, I would turn off the game. And I have.

Better luck on Saturday, I guess. What a joke.

Would have enjoyed a win today

Yankees 6, Indians 3. Box score

Meatloaf said it best: two out of three ain’t bad. I would have liked though, just for nostalgic purposes, to win the game this afternoon as opposed to the two the Tribe won yesterday and Tuesday. This was the last time the Indians will play at the old Yankee Stadium, and it would have been nice to close that place down with a win for Cleveland. Any of you who are reading this right now know our long history with the Yanks, and the fact that the Indians in the 70’s and 80’s were considered the Yankees farm team. We can also never forget that George Steinbrenner is a Cleveland boy who wanted to buy the Indians. It just adds to the hatred that we all have for the Evil Empire, and a win today would have put the Tribe on top in their final game at Yankee Stadium. Oh well, more on the Tribe’s 18th loss of the season, after the jump.